Poor Pickle...

For the first week of the Punk, he was too little to climb up on the big doggie doughnut under the computer desk. Now, that's all changed. He can get up the back steps. He can jump off the couch, just launch himself into space. What a guy! There is only one refuge for his sister, on the bed. And that is only a matter of time, too. Gosh, they grow up so fast. Meanwhile, lots going on in the cowwoman's life. Today is the memorial mass for my father, big FOO (family of origin) and ROO (religion of origin) reunion. I am over most of the regret stuff, anger stuff, and the sense of loss that comes from big change too fast. Puppy helps a lot. Nevertheless, another loss this week, a dear friend who lost his battle with depression and took his own life. Though I know he suffered, and from his point of view took the only avenue to relief, I will miss him. When I was in that place, I felt that I was a burden to everyone I loved. I am sure he felt that, too. This life can get very heavy. For him, it did not change despite all his best efforts. Peace, dear spiritual warrior. I wish he could have hugged the puppy first.

high five for friday.

So I'm trying something new. Seeing as my keeping-up skills with Awkward and Awesome Thursdays have failed me yet again, I'm going to try High Five Fridays. Seems to be more on my level (read: simplicity!). All I have to do is think of five things in my life this past week that happened to be pretty awesome. Can't be that hard, right?

1. Taking S to see the Easter Bunny for the first time. She loved it! Wanted to eat his scarf. Doesn't Mr. Easter Bunny look slightly like Harry Potter?

2. Our friendly UPS man dropped off Loving by Karen Kingsbury. Read her books! Life-changing-amazing.

3. Grass is finally started to grow in our backyard that is now sans swimming pool.

4. S falling asleep in my arms after I feed her. I need to savor those moments. The days are going by too fast.

5. Friday night is pizza making night! Yum.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Dallas' Story.

You can find all posts where I talk about Dallas here.

We adopted him when he was three months old and we still lived in Washington D.C. Along with his two siblings, he had been shipped up from a shelter in Tennessee. We were not looking to take home a dog that day, nor a puppy for that matter, but I am forever grateful that we did. God led us to that adoption event and to that puppy. Because, as we would find out a few days later, we most likely saved his life by taking him home. It was a Saturday. The following Monday I had him at the vet because his breathing was labored and he wouldn't walk. He had pneumonia. I had to take him to an urgent care animal hospital and he had to stay overnight. Hubs and I went to visit him that night. I will never forget how he reached out his paw to me from his isolation chamber. He seemed to say, thank you for caring. Thank you for adopting me and helping me. I will love you forever.

Dallas, our Rhodesian Ridgeback mix. He's eighteen months old with big honey-colored eyes. That match his soft fur. Seventy pounds but I don't think there is one ounce of fat on him. Well, maybe in all that lovably hug-able skin around his neck. Yes, he may be a dog, but he is definitely a member of our family. S's big brother. Protector. Acts like a big bad tough boy, but gets scared at the drop of a water bottle. Loves his rope, walks, and being outside. I have so much love for that dog.

Work in progress...

This is how much I can get done while the Punk is napping. Of course, I don't have any large pieces of black paper. That would make this so much easier. On payday, this Friday, I am ordering a bunch from Dick Blick. None of the art stores here in town carry Fabriano Tiziano, my fave. I don't think pastels are a particularly popular medium, so I feel blessed I can get really good sticks, but the paper, ah, there's the rub. Anyway, this is shaping up nicely. Somehow, I think if I don't paint for a while, I will forget how to do it. Actually, if I painted 24/7, I would still feel that way. I don't know how to do it, really. I just keep working at it, and it happens. There is such a lovely passivity about it all. It's all part of my bizarre little life as an artist. I hope someday I will feel like I have really arrived. Maybe it is enough to just be on the journey. Yes, that's the ticket. Trucking along here.

look at me, being all tech-y.

Yessssss. I finally did it...I finally was able to figure out how the heck to create a blog button. See? Over there on my left sidebar? Yep, that's it. So beautiful. So go ahead, copy that lovely code in the box and paste it on your lovely blog. If you actually enjoy reading this blog of mine, that is. Then comment on this post with a link to your blog and we can be bloggy friends and exchange buttons.

If you're wondering how exactly to create a button, check out this amazingly easy tutorial by The Sarcasm Goddess over at For the Love of Writing. Happy button-making!

new mommy wisdom.

So after reading yesterday's post from a cool new mommy over at Baby Bake Love, I'm taking the lead to share a few bits of my newfound mommy notables. Here's what I've learned so far at nearly six months and counting...

- Do not go out and buy every different brand and type of pacifier. Baby will end up only using one type (probably the first one you give her). Or, if you have a defiant baby like mine, will decide she prefers chomping on her delicious baby knuckle.
- Register for a JJ Cole BundleMe for the carseat. Even if your baby is born in the summer or you live where the weather is mild. You will get your money's worth times a million.
- Beware a sneezing baby on the changing table. You'll want to have that little bum covered up at all times, or you might be cleaning more than just the changing pad cover. (aka the diaper genie...hamper...wall...)
- Change your baby's diaper before you feed her if you know she will fall asleep during or after eating.
- Baby oil and a fine-toothed comb work wonders on cradle cap!
- If you're breastfeeding, invest in a ton of nursing pads. And a few good wireless nursing bras that still offer good support. It can be surprising how much your breasts change after having a baby!
- If your baby doesn't like to be swaddled, don't fight her on it. If she startles awake every time you try to put her down in a cradle/bassinet, buy a rock and play sleeper (like this one) with an incline and let her sleep in that. The way the sides hug the baby gives her the comfort of being held. Nugget started to sleep for longer stretches during the night after we started to use this.
- Take your baby (even a newborn) for walks outside in the stroller or carrier. The fresh air is good for both you and baby.
- When the baby's butt is starting to fall out of her diaper...its time to graduate to the next size.
- For the first several weeks after giving birth, don't worry if you feel completely overwhelmed and like nothing is ever going to be "normal" again. I cried at least once a night during those every-two-hour nighttime feedings for the first two weeks. You will develop a new (and wonderfully amazing) "normal" faster than you think.

It's not easy being me, redux...

We are rising early in the little yellow house. Like, at freaking DAWN. Okay, I knew this would happen. This is, after all, the fourth puppy I have raised in my sobriety, 22 years of it. Puppies listen only to their own internal clock. At least, for the first couple of weeks. We are easing the Punk into our lives. Oh, hell, the Punk is running the whole show. So, not much time to do anything I like, like make art. Instead, I pick away at pieces that are laying limp on the drawing board. Like I warmed up this sweet owl (which, I found out yesterday as I perused the owl lexicon online, is the only blue-eyed version of this incredible raptor). Also did some explaining, like where is he hanging on, anyway? Meanwhile, finally got the Punk to settle into his midmorning nap so I can get dressed and ready for MY day. Pickle is draped across the bed, little sniffy morning for my Pickle, who needs more time to get with the program than Punkin wants to give her, and told her off first thing. Though, wonder of wonders, he can now negotiate the steps up into the house, so I can leave the two of them in the yard and go make coffee, knowing he will follow his big sister into the house once he has finished his business. And yes, he always does his business. Wonderful little guy, actually, and a wonderful idea. My grief has subsided for the most part. I was comparing Punkin to dear Boo, thinking he is so very mellow and may be channeling my Boo's sweet spirit, except he didn't like to be on his back, when Punkin rolled over and slept that way, just like his darling departed brother used to do. Oh, Punkin was a great idea, for sure.

the weekend in which i had my husband back.

We're finally feeling the effects of crazy-work-schdule-that-is-tax-season slow down over here. Hubs surprised us by coming home from work by noon on Saturday. That's right - NOON! Oh glorious day! This raised a multitude of questions. What shall we do with the entire wonderful rest of the day? We opted for the park. Baby girl's first park experience! She loved it. And mommy and daddy had way too much fun as twenty-somethings climbing all over that playground (to the delight of the other parents calmly sitting on benches). Guess what? Didn't care one bit.

cherry blossoms.

I'm totally in love with this tree in our yard. How lucky to buy a home that just so happens to have a beautiful and sweet-smelling cherry blossom tree included? Brings back memories of living in D.C., going for a run, admiring the cherry blossom trees which are literally everywhere. Now, this tree is not so lovely during the summer, fall, and winter months. It looks like a scraggly old hand with a thousand fingers. But in the spring for a few very short weeks, it looks stunning. Amazing how God gives us masterpieces like this to remind us how much he loves the world. That sometimes life is like a scraggly old hand for a time, but its purpose and beauty will appear eventually. When the time is right.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." {Ephesians 3:20}

Oh, so nice to be doing something else...

It seems all I have done for this whole week is watch the puppy, feed the puppy, walk the puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy. Okay, that is the way it is with a new one, constant supervision. The Pickle is not happy, and likely to snap at Punkin and even do something really harmful. So, we have puppy-to-go a lot, Punkin in a bag, Punkin in a zip-up container. So far we have been to meetings, to Trader Joe's, to the Dollar Tree, the library. It's all good, actually, and easy to do. For a while. And now we are on a loosey-goosey schedule that allows me some ME time in the afternoon, so I got to do some quick paintings today. Not into big details and really, I don't think it is necessary, do you? This took about half an hour, and I like it just the way it is. Of course, it is all about the black paper, which I think is just magical in the way everything gets all dramatic without even trying. I need easy right now. Still recovering from a few nights of not sleeping. Hell, I'm going to need to recover from getting up at 7 AM every day. Not my style or inclination. Whatever, I had so much fun getting all fierce with the tiger. Just hope it is not like those black velvet paintings that were so big in the 70s. Too cutesy?

five months and fourteen days.

That's how old you are today, sweet little girl. Hard to believe in a few short weeks you will be half a year old already. Where is the time going?! I love watching you grow and learn and experiment with the world as you see it from your baby eyes. You are amazing. A few things I'm loving about you right now...

-Your bright, big, blue-grey eyes. Daddy and I definitely thought you'd have brown eyes. I think your great-grandma gave those to you in heaven.

-Your curling finger toes which you love to eat.

-Sitting! You can officially sit up all by yourself. Of course we still have a few fall-over moments.

-How you wrinkle your forehead after you eat and I move you onto my chest for a little cuddle time.

-Your perfectly round baby head.

-Your downy baby hair that's starting to stick up as it grows...reminds me of your auntie's hair as a baby.

-How you sometimes look at me in deep thought and that little mouth moves as if you're about to rattle off a complete sentence.

-The way your whole face lights up when Daddy comes home from work.

-The smile you give me when you wake up and the completely peaceful look on your face as I watch you drift off to sleep.

You are mine, forever. I get to teach you about God and the world and what is right. You changed everything about life for the better. I am in love with being your mama. I love every minute with you.

Rayon Beach - Airplane with Tits 7in [2011]

support the artist - buy at hozac

DL

Surprise!

Punkin arrived last night. He didn't come into the same terminal that Pickle did, which shows you how carefully I read the email from the airline. After we parked, took the AirTrain to the Continental terminal, found our way to arrivals, asked three different counter persons, we were directed to the cargo building, five minutes down the street. So we backtracked, found our car (major victory there), found our way out of the garage, and took the wrong exit. So we made a big loop and came back, my sidekick reading addresses till we found our destination. Okay, lots of confusion, but we had allowed ourselves plenty of time. He had been on the ground only about 10 minutes when we arrived, and the nice clerk snipped those heavy duty plastic ties so we could extricate him from his crate. Now, I read that the shipping weight was 3 lbs. I thought that was 3 lbs of puppy. It was actually 3 lbs total, crate, puppy, and bag of food! This is one tiny pooch. Also one delightful little personality. He was so good riding home for the 1 1/2 hours in my friend's lap. I put him down on the front lawn once we arrived and he piddled. An hour later, we were all asleep, the pack of three, on the bed. He woke up on Texas time, really early, I put my hand under his head, he fell back to sleep. I didn't, but, hey, Punkin is the boss for a while. Today, I took him out, he piddled, I fed him, took him out, he pooed. He loves the backyard, romps around like a little rabbit. Pickle was overtly jealous last night, though she got her usual amount of attention, too. Today, they played together! And Punkin went for his first foray in the tote bag, to Western Farm Supply for a smaller collar and some chew sticks. He did just fine. He likes his enclosure in the kitchen, his big, big dog bed. and especially the black and white cow toy that is big enough to be his brother. He's a prince, my Punkin.

Sonic Death - Gothic Session [2012]

support the artist - buy at bandcamp

DL

killer russian psych-rock...highly recommended

Le Sang Song - Art vs Life 7in [2011]

support the artist - buy at hozac

DL

Sonic Death - Session 1 [2011]

self-released

DL

Sonic Death - Christmas Session [2011]

self-released

DL

Painful admissions...

Okay, I have been horridly naive about my mouse problem. Foolish me, I kept thinking there was only one mouse, and every time I caught one, another moved in. I caught two today. I drove the first one over to the same field where I let his brother go. The second one is in a deep plastic pitcher, and he is a feisty one, almost managed to jump out before I put the lid on. Needed to bait the trap again right away. I couldn't find the peanut butter, it got behind the milk somehow, so I used raspberry jam. My mice seem to prefer that. Will it ever end? Let us hope so. I plan on putting a lamp by the dog door if I leave it open at night. I notice my mice do not like the light very much.

Didn't get to pick up Punkin today. He missed his plane. So he is arriving on a late flight tomorrow instead. This is probably a good thing, what with all the mouse excitement, and the half day teaching sixth graders a lesson in fine art. Now, I thought these kids would be mature. Boy, was I wrong. I remember being 5'8" tall in 6th grade. I read Gone with the Wind that year (and Lolita, though my mother still doesn't know that). It was interesting to note that almost no one did the lesson as I taught it. And since my whole thrust was individual, personal creations in whatever colors they wanted, that was okay. My worst fear was that there would not be enough time to finish the project. In my first class, everyone was pretty much done 25 minutes early. I got them to work a little more, here and there, gave them more information, then had them come up, 3 or 4 at a time, to show their art, and everyone got a hand. My friend to roped me into this was thrilled with the outcome. I kind of felt that they could have done better. $80 worth of pastels got thoroughly beat up, but they now belong to the school anyway. I got paid, yay. And I stretched myself. Comfort zone is now larger than ever. And I am really tired. Have all kinds of new respect for teachers, let me tell you. Some of those boys would be hard to handle one on one. Everyone said they had fun. Hey, I did, too. A couple of kids did amazing work. I was properly amazed by each child's rendering, how different they all were, how intense they were about the process. Would be nice to think an artist or two was born today.

Sonic Death - S/T EP [2011]

support the artist - buy at bandcamp (name your price)

DL

Me -1, Mouse -0

Another victory for the cowwoman. Let me tell you, these little guys are formidable opponents. This is mouse #3. I caught the first one by sheer luck, when Pickle scared it as it noshed away on my oatmeal bath stuff and it leaped into a plastic pitcher and could not get out. Next one I caught in this self-same trap, the second humane trap I tried, after much trial and error, and a lot of peanut butter. The day after I released the second little bugger, another moved in. (Pretty sure there has not been more than one, judging by the miniscule leavings. ) I wondered if the same mouse traveled down the street from the field I released him in, and just waltzed back into the stove. Now that I see him, I realize this is a much smaller guy. And the smaller they are, the harder they are to catch. It takes a little weight to trip the trigger in the trap. But I am smarter than the average mouse. I not only wrapped the bread with thread before spreading peanut butter on it, I anchored the tidbit around a heavy pair of scissors, so the mouse could not flit in, drag out the morsel, and disappear down one of the burners of the stove. I am cleaning the stove zealously this afternoon, and praying that this is the last of the little guys for a while. That would be nice.

Fist City / Timecopz - Split 7in [2011]

support the artist - buy at geographing

DL

Shannon & the Clams - Hunk Hunt 7in [2009]

support the artist - released on weird hug

DL

Gentleman Jesse and His Men - She's a Trap 7in [2010]

support the artist - buy his new LP at douchemaster now

DL

the Moby Dicks - Spiders 7in [2011]

support the artist - buy at southpaw

try

Gentleman Jesse / Joseph Plunket Split 7in [2008]

support the artist - released on robs house

DL

Luxury Rides - She Just Doesn't Care 7in [2005]

support the artist - released on solid sex lovie doll records

DL

What did I do wrong?

You know how it is. You plan, God laughs. Monday, email in hand, I sojourned to the bank to empty my account and pay $5 for a cashier's check, then to our Central branch of the Post Office, that denizen of unhappy, homicidal folks, to pay $21.35 for express mail, return receipt requested, so I can get my puppy shipped to me on this Friday. To be honest, they told me it would not be overnight, but Wednesday, at the latest. So, of course, email this morning from the breeder - she did not get the check. Since it was after 3 PM her time at the moment I opened the email, I tried to track it online. No go. So, I jumped on my horse and went back to the post office, where they told me, after having me cool my heels for an interminable length of time, the, yes, it was scanned delivered, at 12:15 PM Texas time. Back to the house, where, of course, there was a second email -never mind, it came. Meanwhile, I was in bargaining mode with HP. WTF, I've been good all week! Not a single solitary mean word to anyone, not even the Pickle! I DESERVE this puppy! Well, to be fair I had just returned from my monthly trip to a treatment center, where, usually, I am with a team of folks who present a video, follow a format, and have the proper blue cards to distribute to those leaving the facility who would like help getting to their first few AA meetings out in the cruel world, and my team didn't show, leaving me out there on that limb. I improvised, got a list of those who wanted to avail themselves of our help. Hell, I've been sober 22 years. Not very much surprises me. Except when things go wrong when they shouldn't go wrong. And I guess they really didn't, did they. Oh, just let me get the Punkin home safely. Little package of love flying in Friday. How sweet it is.

The Puppy Pick-Up Tradition.

Here's how that goes. We set off with great big coffee drinks, something with whipped cream and sprinkles and a gazillion calories. Our journey down the 101 corridor is fast and easy and we get to the airport just fine. Then things get dicey. We park in the wrong lot and get on the wrong skytrain and wind up in long term parking. Then we get off in the international terminal and walk a mile or so before we get where we need to be. The plane will be late. The breeder will call all anxious because she never sent one that far before. When he does arrive, this time we will have heavy-duty scissors to get the blankety-blank plastic ties off so we can get him out of his grate (unlike last time, when we had to disassemble it.) Then we will head home in godawful commute traffic, miss our off ramp and wind up roller-coasting over the San Francisco hills to Lombard and on to the Golden Gate Bridge. We stop in Marin at the In and Out, for hamburgers, fries, milkshakes, and a puppy airing. Then we crawl home through the Novato narrows and the Santa Rosa trudge. What can I say, it's an adventure! Actually, Punkin is coming in on the same flight Pickle arrived on. Experience should let us be more productive and less scattered. Of course, there are even more things that could go wrong. Just praying my new little guy gets here without any traumatic experiences. He's only 8 weeks old, you know.

Teenanger - Bank Account 7in [2011]

support the artist - buy the new album frights at telephone explosion

DL

Bummer High - Lost Highway CS [2011]

support the artist - buy at green burrito

DL

the Monsters - Nightmare 7in [1988]

support the artist - released on record junkie

DL

It's a boy!

The cowwoman is adopting a new baby. He is scheduled to arrive Friday, flying in from Texas. I found him on the same website where I found my Pickle, a secure breeder's site approved by the AKC. Unlike Pickle, I do not have a designated name for him, but I am thinking maybe Dilly, or Dandy, or PoohBear, or Bingley, or Frodo, or ... Maybe I will have a contest. Maybe I will know when I see him in person. I went with a mixed breed, because Boo was a mixed breed and such a great dog. New kid is Shih Tzu and Poodle, and his folks are both under 10 lbs, so he may be smaller, too. That's nice, because I like to put my constapanion in a tote bag and go a lot. Boo sat under tables in restaurants (just feed him a taco chip or morsel of French bread once in a while), went Christmas shopping with me, rode in the baby seat of my shopping cart. It was a real temptation to find one that looked like Boo, same markings, and, wow, there were several out there. New kid is similar in his face (and this picture with his tongue hanging out was a big selling point for me, so like Boo), and he is black and white, but not all black like Boo, and he has more nose, I think. I may have to learn about grooming. Both of his breeds have beaucoup coat. Oh, just so happy here. I need a warm puppy at this time. It's good to have a purpose. Getting the house puppy-proofed should keep me out of the stinkin' doldrums.

Cola Freaks / Digital Leather – Split 7in [2011]

support the artist - released on scion av

DL

Video: Gentlemen Jesse - Rooting for the Underdog [2012]

White Faces - S/T [2011]

support the artist - buy at windian

DL - 160kbps only

the Spyrals - Clouds EP [2011]

support the artist - buy at bandcamp

DL

Meth Teeth - Bus Rides EP [2008]

support the artist - released on sweet rot

DL

Subsonics - I'm Looking Over My Shoulder [1994]

support the artist - released on lance rock

DL

Manikins – The World That Once Was Ours 7in [2005]

support the artist - released on ptrash

DL

Wisdom from bumper stickers...

I saw a dandy at Trader Joe's the other day. It said "I support the separation of church and hate." Oh, yeah. I agree with Jesus's philosophy, and know that every one of us embodies the divine. We are meant to love one another, even when we are not very lovable. If that is true of an individual, I love them from a distance, and I frequently pray for them, that they receive their highest good, whatever God decides that is. A good whack up the side of the head always sounds good to me, but hey, what do I know! Frankly, I don't know a lot of Christian sects that accept the fringe elements, like gays, into their fold. Nor do I know of ANY who treat women the same as men. Really, folks. The Bible was written 3,000 years ago. Isn't it time to kill the myth that Eve was created as a handmaiden? Haven't we stood up and been real human beings in that time? Okay, I still see women objectified, especially in advertising. It helps that men are now also becoming more and more objectified, I suppose. Let's go back to the real truth. Human DNA is less dissimilar than penguin DNA. What we look like and what gender we are, that is all the frosting on the cake. The real stuff is what goes on inside, very complicated systems that all need to work together so we can breathe at all. In the end, we are all just individual expressions of the divine. I want to embrace the diversity. I go to a New Age church, where the message is all about the great Oneness that is our Universe, and the Mind that directs it all. Pretty sweet message. All kinds of folks show up. All are seeking spiritually. It has grown a lot in the last 20 years. So, down with the hateful thinking that is so prevalent in our society. Let's leave all that to the Republicans.

Midnite Snaxxx - Guy Like That 7in [2011]

support the artist - released on total punk

DL

Cola Freaks - S/T 7in [2007]

support the artist - released on hjernespind

DL