When I am working, picking up little sticks of color and applying them to my work in progress, I am most at peace, and that is a place I want to be today. Grieving is hard work. Every moment is a possible breaking point. There is vigilance even when I am feeling serene, that it may change any moment. And, truth be told, there is nothing awful in the most emotional moments. Sobbing helps. Sometimes, yelling hopes like "HP, You took him away and You better take good care of him!" I feel comfortable yelling at HP. HP is big enough to take anything I dish out, for sure. And here we are, at that time of the day when I kind of melt, 3 PM. Too early to eat dinner - that's always something to do, make dinner. Way too early for bed. So I did another painting. And I am thinking of a third. Marathon painting. Lots of things to look at and do, and someday, frame and exhibit. The Boo opus, done in the deepest moments of grief and loss. Something good out of something tragic. Feels right.
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