Because S is growing up so fast and even though I am absolutely loving every minute of her, of watching her learn and grow and discover this world, I find myself wanting her to stay a baby. To always be smiling at me first thing in the morning and falling asleep in my arms. To be content with her mama holding her. To continue to look at me with those big baby blues filled with unconditional love and trust. I'm her safe spot. Her food and her comfort. She relies on me for everything. But it won't always be that way between us, and that is what I'm afraid of.
I consider myself a pretty good mommy so far. But what about the coming years? Will I succeed in raising her so she loves her parents and wants to please us? Will I be able to instill in her a love for God that is strong and not easily broken by the world's influence? So many things I could worry about, but I know (from experience) that worrying will not get me anywhere. I have to put my worry in God's hands...that He will lead me to be the kind of mother that is pleasing to him.
Today, one of the daily devotions I read seemed to speak to my new mommy heart. "Her lamp does not go out at night..." {Proverbs 31:18} We, as mothers, need to make sure that we do not run out of oil to power our lamp. That our light to lead our children does not grow dim or burn out. There are lots of things in life that vie for our attention...but we need to wait until we take care of our families first.
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